Tag Archives: single parents

You are not a single parent if…

Some people talk a lot of rubbish, and then there are the people who talk complete and utter crap. No-one talks more crap than parents and people on the subject of parenting, but it really seems (to me) that the subject of single-parenting attracts more than its fair share of crap talk. I am, of course, referring to the people who say stuff like this epic quote from a parent on The Ripley’s Aquarium of Canada facebook page: tdp

Go ahead, read it again. This parent, of whom I have granted the dignity of anonymity, actually says she’d technically  be a single mom if her husband chose not to go to the aquarium with her. No, really! She really said that. Now, you can find her (and many more foolios like her) if you go to the The Ripley’s Aquarium of Canada facebook page and read the teacher appreciation night post – there, you’ll find everyone bemoaning the fact that they’re not getting teacher discount and completely missing the entire point of a teacher appreciation night. (Which, FYI, is to encourage teachers to bring their classes there for field trips and increase aquarium revenue. Ching! Ching!)

So, for all of you who don’t already know, YOU ARE NOT A SINGLE PARENT IF…

  1. Your husband choses not to go to the aquarium with you.

I can’t believe I even needed to write this.

My brilliant defintion of a single parent is right here.

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How I became a single-dad by Jason Evans

TDP Jason Evans

Jason and his kids.

From a young age, I’ve been around children a lot. When my parents split up, I went to my mother’s work with her because she didn’t have a baby-sitter. My mom is a Labor and Delivery nurse, and I would hang-out with the nurses in the nursery. Even after I joined the navy, I would still occasionally watch my buddy’s son for him. I soon learned that “for a man” I was very good with children.

When I got out of the navy, I met a woman in San Diego – I was stationed there and she had grown up there. She said that she was moving to New York to meet her real father. Because I am from New York, I told her that if things didn’t work out for me in California I would come to New York to see her. About a month later, she called me and said that she could get a place if I was going to move out there with her and help pay for it. I said yes and we moved to New York. We lived together as friends for a little while and then I got her pregnant. I told my boss at the time that I didn’t love her and I wasn’t ready for this. I chose to stay (which I felt was my only choice) and take care of my daughter. 13 months later, she was pregnant again. When my son was born I named him Jason Jr. (JJ).

When we were together, we were always the ones that our friends came to when they needed help with their kids. I always loved to have a lot of kids around. But I soon realised that I was living with someone I didn’t love. I started to drink. One day, while my family were up north at my mother’s having a baby shower (my son’s) I got arrested for DWI – and another a week later. After that, I quit drinking for a little over a year. Then I started drinking just a little bit now and then. She left for about 8 months after a couple arguments about money and some other things and she left me with the kids. I was quick to find a girlfriend, but one day, in an argument, she hit me and so I asked her to leave. I then called the children’s mother and begged her to come back. A couple of months after that, the work ran out where we were living. I got an offer to work for someone that lived up north, close to where my mother lived up north. So we moved into my mother’s house, and lived there for about a year until we saved enough and found a place of our own. Still not being in love with her, I started to drink heavily and do bad things again. I got another DWI and crashed my car. I should have died but I didn’t have so much as a scratch. This woke me up and made me see what I needed to do. I left. I moved back into my mother’s and went to rehab. When I got out of rehab and started working again, I found a place.

One day, my ex asked me if she could start dating. I said, “I don’t care, but if you’re so worried about your social life, then give me the kids.” She just said ok. So I took the kids and I love having them around so much. I have been granted joint custody with placement and say-so of visitation. I firmly believe everything happens for a reason. I have done more things with my kids in the last 8 months than I have ever done. They are my blessing. I have been clean and sober for just over 9 months now and I am doing great. I take care of my kids all by myself and wouldn’t have it any other way. I inspire to be someone that my children will be proud of throughout  life. There is no bad blood between their mother and me. I never talk badly about her. Everyone has their own problems and I like my life the way it now is. I am now happy to do it by myself, but when the kids are older, I hope I find someone to spend my life with. Thank you for listening

About Jason: Jason Evans is a 34 yr old single father of two. His daughter, Brianna, is 10 and his son, Jason Jr., is 9. He’s been in construction for over 15 years, was in the Navy for 4 years, and was first vice commander of Seneca County New York American legion. He currently resides in upstate New York and admins on facebook at Super Crazy Super Parents.

Click on the links to find more of The Double Parent on facebook and Twitter.

*I have created TDP – Your Stories as a safe space for readers to share about life as  double parent.  I’m calling this space “Your Stories” because I hope many of you will be share your stories, questions, inspiration, struggles, tears, triumphs etc so that we all may glean from and contribute to the collective wisdom. Please feel free to comment and if you would like to share your story then please contact me by clicking here.

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How can anyone ever tell you?

This song is dedicated to all the Double Parents (Single Mothers or Single Fathers) who have ever felt less than whole because they’re raising their child/ren alone.

You are not less than, you are not broken. You are whole, you are wonderful, you are good enough, you are beautiful and your loving is a miracle.

How could anyone ever tell you?
You were anything less than beautiful…
How could anyone ever tell you?
You were less than whole…

How could anyone fail to notice?
That your loving is a miracle…
How deeply you’re connected to my soul…

Words and Music by Libby Roderick

Click on the link to read my article about why we are not broken.

Click on the links to reach The Double Parent on facebook and Twitter.

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