The one sacrifice your kids won’t be happy you made….

You are enoughHoliday season is upon us! I have seen and heard so many comments by parents saying how much they put on a brave face and spend time with extended family “for the sake of the children”.

Stop it! Stop martyring yourself and sacrificing your holidays/special occasions….

1. Think how you’d feel now, as an adult, if you found out that your parent/s had spent every holiday miserable thinking it was making you happy. Your kids may not realise what you’re doing now, but I can assure you, this is one sacrifice they won’t be glad you made for them.

2. When you force yourself to spend special occasions with people you don’t like, you are denying yourself the right to enjoy the special day. Don’t you deserve a a happy thanksgiving???

3. Think about why you are putting on “brave face”. If being around these people requires a brave face from you, think about if it really is benefiting the kids to be in this situation.

And this one is very important, so pay attention:
4. When you feel that that there must be extended family and friends with you to celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas,as etc you are buying into the lie that you are not enough. You and your kids are the most important part of your family, the most important people in each others’ lives. You are enough. You don’t need to anyone else to make special occasions special. Your kids need you – that’s it.

5. When your kids grow and become parents – think about whether or not you want them to have happy holidays. If you don’t think they should sacrifice their special days, they don’t do it yourself.

Please, please don’t believe the warped message that special occasions don’t count unless there are a lot of people. Don’t buy the lie that your little family isn’t enough or is in incomplete. It is, and it’s okay if it’s just you and your kids this year. That’s the most important people in the world, after all. Read my guide to surviving the holidays by clicking here.

Click on the links to reach The Double Parent on facebook and Twitter.

Further Reading:
http://www.empoweringparents.com/Are-You-a-Mother-or-a-Martyr.php

http://www.insufferableintolerance.com/a-letter-to-insecure-parents-martyrs/

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