But it’s time that we as a society took some time to stop and think a little deeper about this. In doing so, we would come to understand that for a every great dad out there who’s doing or trying to do a great fathering job there is a child or children fortunate enough to have a great father. Then we would also realise that that for every father out there who, for whatever unjustifiable reason, is not being a great father that there is a child or children who are growing up lacking.
It’s time we took Father’s Day and looked at it differently. All children deserve a good father, but not all children get one. Who feels this lack??? Well, I can assure you that it’s not the fathers who are not paying child support, not the fathers who are not visiting their children and sowing goods seeds into their children’s lives, not the father who fails to be supportive to the other parent who is doing double the work of parenthood because he won’t. It is the children who feel this lack and absence and it is the other parent who has double the work.
Each child will feel it in a way unique to them, and some will hardly notice while others will grieve for the loss of good fathering. But each child will feel it whether we realise it or not. No matter how great we mothers are, we are still always only one person where there should be two.
So this Father’s Day, I say we should celebrate the good parenting that is done more than we celebrate the father as a person because so many mothers are fathers too. Fathering is not a man’s job. Parenting is a father’s job. Celebrate good parenting today.
And men, if you know a father out there who is NOT doing good parenting – then tell him. These absent fathers need to hear that and children deserve better.
Naturally, all of this applies to mothers on Mother’s Day etc.