“You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.” — Tony Gaskins.
After a less than satisfactory meeting with the least helpful (or possibly the most realistic) lawyer at the Family Law Information Centre yesterday, I was feeling more than a little down and more than a little hopeless. My planned revolution (of my life) for 2013 looked like it was over and defeat was imminent. I felt crushed. My white flag was at the ready.
But, (surely by the grace of God) as I scrolled through my WordPress Reader this morning, I came across this inspirational photo posted by http://toddlohenry.com/ and my own words jumped at me. The reason I need my revolution in 2013 is so that I can teach other people (namely my ex and his family) that they cannot continue to treat me in the way they have done so in the past.
I knew that by throwing in the proverbial towel, I would lose all that I had fought for in 2012 by standing up to the bullies in my life. More important than any gains made (which other than more self-respect for myself, were few and far between), I would lose the ability to fight again. I would lose my dignity because I would be giving back to my ex the right to walk all over me. My children would instantly see their father again, but I would remain subject to him. I would literally be sacrificing myself. My gut was telling me not to give up the fight, but my head was telling me that I would be defeated in court. I want my children to see their father and have a relationship with him, but not at my expense, and without risk to their personal safety. (To read about my planned revolution, please click here.
This picture and quote reminded me that I have to keep fighting. It is exactly what I need for today. If I don’t stop letting others treat me badly, I allow them to treat me badly. By letting them get what they want though their bad treatment of me, I reinforce the very treatment I want to stop.
Keep fighting today, people. Don’t give up. Don’t worry about tomorrow’s fight. Just get through today and you will be glad that you did.